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Cursing as the customary dialect in the restaurant industry

I pride myself not to curse in the exchanges I have with my co-workers during the shifts that we share. The job is already stressful enough and disrespecting eachother (especially when under stress) only opens the door to exacerbation of violence in the workplace (keeping in mind that the restaurant industry ranks high in the USA for death in the workplace by homicide).The link below is an example of the language often used in the restaurant workplace. CAUTION: MANY VULGARITIES !!!The language and circumstances are not out of the ordinary, and I dare say that most who have worked in the trenches of restaurant operations, have heard the same often if not frequently.This is an extraordinary example of the reach of social media with your business brand.Your thoughts would be interesting!PaulParadou Owner Vadim Ponorovsky Curses Out Employeeshttp://blog.friendseat.com/paradou-owner-vadim-ponorovsky-curses-out-employees/#comment-1419
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  • I lost a job and was taken OFF the schedule for writing and submitting a complaint against three female employees for constantly using extremely vulgar and foul language. There were several incidences where I went to my tables and personally apologized to my tables for being within earshot of these trash mouths. One of my table went to management and complained about one of these waitresses and nothing happened because management and ownership SET THE EXAMPLE.

    Leadership is what it's all about. If you curse, your employees will OUTCURSE you. Cursing becomes competitive. Trash leads to trash, filth leads to filth.

    I had to listen to that stuff while I was a drug and alcohol counselor at the State Prison while working with Alcoholics Anonymous. I've had to listen to MURDERERS, RAPISTS and some of the most violent offenders known to man curse and use vulgarity non-stop and I tell you, I don't have to listen to that at work!

    To have to listen to that kind of vulgarity and foul language coming out of the mouth of a 16 year old girl and two other young ladies ... every day ... every shift was simply maddening.

    The restaurant industry ... is insane. To attempt to be sane in the restaurant industry is the greatest challenge that has ever been given to me and I meet it.

    If you are in the boxing ring and you get hit square with a looping right hook it HURTS BAD! And maybe there's room for a curse word there. But I'll tell you the champions and the winners DO NOT curse.

    LOSERS CURSE. LUSERS !

    If you are in the state pen and your food is literally rotten at lunch time, there's room for cursing there. If the IRS files a criminal charge against you ... there's room for cursing there.

    But if you CAN'T handle the heat of the kitchen, or if you CAN'T handle a few fast tables at lunch and you have to use vile and filthy language to get yourself through it do everybody a favor and USE THE FRONT DOOR!

    Cursing goes hand in hand with DRUG USE and DRUNKENNESS. Whores curse, criminals curse, trash curses, filth curses, pimps curse.

    I have seen many violent situations erupt because of the use of foul language in the restaurant business and in my work in the prisons. There's not a whole lot of difference!

    What kind of workplace allows that type of language? Whorehouses? Crackhouses? Perhaps if you are a soldier in the sand and you are blowing people to pieces ... sure ... curse some ...

    But as a server or bartender in a restaurant, to live a life of filthy language?

    I tell you, it's sexual harassment that's what it is and the filth mouths know it.
  • @Michael..
    Very thoughful and to the point without being accusatory.
    Thanks!
    Paul
  • I recently confronted a coworker about her frequent dropping of the F-bomb, especially in and around the waiter's station. I would be standing at the computer, concentrating on entering an order, and she would coast up right behind me and let 'em rip. 'F' this and 'F' them and 'F' that...over and over without any idea of how she was impacting the rest of us. Little did she know, all of her coworkers were over it.

    I sent her an email the next day:

    Hi Susan,

    You know how much I value and appreciate you. That's why I want to let you know why I was quiet around you last night. You were obviously very slammed, and repeatedly dropped the 'F Bomb' throughout the night, especially when you were in and around the waiter's station. I would be trying to put in an order or focus on my work, and you would be standing close by, saying 'F this and F that.'

    I've had nights like that. It's important to at least try to contain those emotions so that the rest of us don't have to take on your stress. I am very sensitive (so are some of the other servers), so your energy becomes my (our) energy. I literally had to block you out, which is the last thing I want to do. It's also why I was so quiet.

    If you ever need someone to lean on, or help you through a tight spot during service, just ask me. I will try my best to help.


    With respect,
    --
    Michael
  • I think it's actually hilarious. Stupid to commit to paper... but hilarious. How many times have we thought something like this (typically about a specific employee, not the whole group) in our heads? How many times have we cursed in our heads the employee who picks up the dishes from the table but doesn't wipe it; the BOH who throws away half of every potato because they can't be bothered to peel it properly; the FOH who won't suggest a sensible add-on to a lunch meal (roll or biscuit with a bowl of soup) or won't ask if the guest would like something to drink other than water? There are few things I hate worse than getting to the cashier in a discount store and being pestered to buy the nifty 5-in-one flashlight/toothpick combo at their checkout. But to offer a roll with soup is a no-brainer. So why won't they?
  • Mr. Ponorovsky made #3...
    Top 10 Restaurant Industry Freak Outs of 2009
    http://www.nbcnewyork.com:80/around-town/food-drink/The_Top_Ten_Res...
  • Follow-up:
    The Gawker, who originated the publishing of Mr. Ponorovsky's email, has an update indicating the Yelp had flagged all posts that make any reference to Mr. Ponorovsky's email to his employees. The link is here: http://gawker.com/5412982/the-paradou-email-an-update
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