Perhaps you remember the story of the person who goes to the doctor and the doctor upon his examination tells the patient he needs to lose weight, begin physical activity, stop smoking and change self destructive habits. The patient, upon leaving the office murmurs, “quack” and immediately finds another doctor.

There are many managers who in essence do the same thing. I speak from personal experience, in my early career I was like that, I worked hard, too hard, which is precisely the point I make. With so much emphasis on activity I didn’t focus on those things I should have focused on. Lacking introspection I worked for a living rather than building a life. With much time wasted I later played a tremendous game of catch-up, all because I invested so little time in improving me. Those choices I made were tension relieving not goal achieving. I went home exhausted from work and in doing the work of others who worked for me.

Planning was an anathema, getting through one day only to have that day repeated tomorrow was my unconscious objective. I was a slave at work and did nothing to relieve tension or take my mind off my job. I grew unhappy, even though I didn’t consciously realize it and developed the destructive habit of blaming others for negative circumstances or when things didn’t go my way.

I became overly sensitive and critical of others, particularly those in positions of authority. Not only that, I was not bashful telling anyone who would listen of my unhappiness or disagreement, all the while believing the only necessity in moving ahead was doing an excellent job, boy was I wrong.

I thought I had to have all the answers to every imaginable problem, subscribing to the old belief that I was the best person for every job and if I really wanted something done right I needed to do it myself. Much of my effort was spent impressing managers and subordinates in my restaurant with what I could do, as a result trust levels with my employees was low.

What I could have accomplished if I had been more open-minded and receptive to criticism and those who wished too help me. I subscribed to the belief that weakness needed to be hidden, or had to be counterbalanced with strength. I was bullheaded and too often met criticism with hostility. I was climbing the ladder of success, but the ladder was against the wrong wall.

Thankfully, in my mid thirties I stumbled upon a couple of mentors who profoundly impacted my life. More then likely we found each other because I was receptive and no longer an overly determined, stubborn and somewhat hostile person, hell-bent on self-discovery. I stopped, looked, listened and made changes based upon the input of others. I accepted responsibility for outcomes, looking internally for solutions that in the past I avoided. I became an improved version of myself.

I accepted advice and advice has made a world of difference in me as a manager, leader and person. Success is measured in ways other than possessions (possessions are nice), as I've matured and grown as a person I understand it is not what a person gets, but what he/she becomes that makes the real difference.

My mentors suggested I spend time in personal development and reflection. In those days I traveled as an internal business consultant for my company driving 40+ thousand miles a year. My car became a rolling university; I’ve lost count how many books and motivational, educational tapes I’ve listened too while driving. In addition, when packing my suitcase there was at least one book packed as my ever-present companion. This was and remains my attempt at becoming a better more improved person (I don't mean a softer person).

Recently I reread the Seven Habits, its incredible commercial success masks its depth. In reading and rereading the book I find nuggets of gold every time. Dr. Covey takes no ownership of the material believing instead he simply organized universally held beliefs. His humbleness is an example that makes the Seven Habits more than a book he wrote, but a practice he lives.

I won’t go through the highlights, but if you haven’t read it in a while pick it up and I’ll almost guarantee you’ll agree with me it’s like reading it again for the first time. Every manager advancing his/her career and life should read and reread this book in my opinion. It is a reminder of what is good about learning and growing in consideration of others.

It’s been said there are two types of people, one type enters a room with the attitude “here I am” (you know the type) and the second type enters with the attitude, “there you are”. I don’t think I have to tell you the one most likely to succeed in business and in personal terms. Think about it, if you could pick one person as mentor would it be someone like you?

I place myself on no pedestal, I’m very much a work in progress, however, each day I work on improving myself with the hope of one day being closer to that actualized person I wish to be, helping others and in the process helping myself.

Views: 0

Tags: happiness, human, management, people, resources, restaurant

Comment

You need to be a member of FohBoh to add comments!

Join FohBoh

Advertisments

 

DEPARTMENTS

Social Wine Club for Craft Wineries

Smartbrief

Eateries turn to rationing as lime prices soar

Unrest caused by Mexico's drug cartels, along with floods in Mexico and a drought in California, are taking a toll on this ye -More

25% Usage Reduction, Guaranteed!
Reduce waste and cut cost. Impress your customers and express your brand. Every single Tork Xpressnap napkin dispenser performs double-duty for your business. Find out more about our 25% usage reduction guarantee or get a free trial.

Burger King to upgrade wireless with Whopper Wi-Fi

Burger King has teamed with AT&T to replace existing in-store wireless Internet with an upgraded system dubbed Whopper Wi-Fi  -More

Late-night indulgence pays off for Jack in the Box

Jack in the Box saw its profits rise sharply in the first quarter, a few months after introducing its $6 Munchie Meal menu of -More

JOBS & CAREERS

Posting a job or finding a job starts here at FohBoh. Call us about special $25 posting packages to syndicate across all major jobs boards.

National News

Wahlburgers Announces Expansion Plans Including Franchise Agreement in Philadelphia

Wahlburgers has signed a franchise agreement with Hingham Associates, LLC that will bring five Wahlburgers to the metropolitan Philadelphia area over the next several years. The franchise group is actively looking at sites and is targeting a late 2014-early 2015 opening for its first restaurant.

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. First Quarter 2014 Revenue Up 24.4%

Comparable restaurant sales increased 13.4% - Restaurant level operating margin was 25.9%, a decrease of 40 basis points

Jamba Juice Announces Grand Opening of New St. Louis, MO Location

Jamba Juice Company announced the brand’s continued expansion in the St. Louis market with the opening of a Jamba Juice® store at 11477 Olive Blvd. on April 16, 2014.

Expert in Real Estate Analytics Joins Luna Grill

Luna Grill, the San Diego-based Mediterranean restaurant chain, is welcoming retail real estate industry veteran Greg Thorburn to its leadership team. Thorburn has been brought on board to fill the newly created position of Vice-President of Real Estate.

Rita's Italian Ice Awards Area Development Agreement for Kansas

Rita's Italian Ice has awarded franchise and area development agreements for Kansas and the Kansas City area, which extends to the Missouri side of the city, to franchisees and local residents Jay Miller, Jeff Miller and Pat Reilly.

CROWD FUNDING

If you are looking for capital to start or grow your restaurant, create the next 501c3, develop and launch the next app for the restaurant industry,or want to help your peers in some meaningful way, we want to know about it.

TED TALKS VIDEO

TED: Jeremy Kasdin: The flower-shaped starshade that might help us detect Earth-like planets - Jeremy Kasdin (2014)

Astronomers believe that every star in the galaxy has a planet, one fifth of which might harbor life. Only we haven't seen any of them -- yet. Jeremy Kasdin and his team are looking to change that with the design and engineering of an extraordinary piece of equipment: a flower petal-shaped "starshade" that allows a telescope to photograph planets from 50,000 kilometers away. It is, he says, the "coolest possible science."

TED: Norman Spack: How I help transgender teens become who they want to be - Norman Spack (2013)

Puberty is an awkward time for just about everybody, but for transgender teens it can be a nightmare, as they grow overnight into bodies they aren't comfortable with. In a heartfelt talk, endocrinologist Norman Spack tells a personal story of how he became one of the few doctors in the US to treat minors with hormone replacement therapy. By staving off the effects of puberty, Spack gives trans teens the time they need. (Filmed at TEDxBeaconStreet.)

TED: Jennifer Senior: For parents, happiness is a very high bar - Jennifer Senior (2014)

The parenting section of the bookstore is overwhelming—it's "a giant, candy-colored monument to our collective panic," as writer Jennifer Senior puts it. Why is parenthood filled with so much anxiety? Because the goal of modern, middle-class parents—to raise happy children—is so elusive. In this honest talk, she offers some kinder and more achievable aims.

TED: David Brooks: Should you live for your résumé ... or your eulogy? - David Brooks (2014)

Within each of us are two selves, suggests David Brooks in this meditative short talk: the self who craves success, who builds a résumé, and the self who seeks connection, community, love -- the values that make for a great eulogy. (Joseph Soloveitchik has called these selves "Adam I" and "Adam II.") Brooks asks: Can we balance these two selves?

© 2014   Created by FohBoh.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service