You know you've opened a restaurant when...

You know you’ve opened a restaurant when…*You showed up and there were no windows and electricity, and you did intro night with flashlights and jackets.*A piece of long sheet metal fell on you during a directional on the back dock in Tennessee.*You took the entire staff out in a field, and played Zoom during the health department inspection.*You spoke English, and Jacques spoke Spanish, while writing the prep list in French.*You have a beautiful flip chart that has been filled out the night before, but because it somehow ended up under the contractors’ building plans the next morning, that you were told not to touch, you redid them on the fly just before your class. You find them later, but you’re bitter.*Your Bar trainer gets pink eye and you run back and forth between discussing a wait list and proper jigger pours.*You taught Broil everything they need to know on the back dock, with a Weber grill and sheer determination. (Was that Sara? She’s awesome!)*The fire alarm gets tested, but you don’t mind, because there are hot looking fireman walking around, and all the females are smiling.*You meet the AD while he is holding a drill and is wearing jeans. (We love Utah)*You made up a chant based on a famous song by Tenacious D, but called it, “Train them softly”*You’re a man, you’re dressed like a cheerleader, and you just sang a chant in front of all your associates.*You missed the chants in order to buy more items at Wal Mart for Apple Store.*You understand Praise in public, berate in walk-in.*You own a Rainbow Fro. (Where are you, Brock?)* You just gave the best POS class ever, without screens or monitors, in a hotel lobby next to the restaurant that has no Certificate of Occupancy.* Your food show was amazing, even though your only resource was a plate presentation manual and pieces of felt with sharpie grill marks.*The AD’s girlfriend got arrested after VIP.*You realize most of the fraternization policies are based on a group of trainers from MN. (Lovin you!)*You had a 20-minute conversation about a teaspoon, a tea hottle, and whether or not a bevnap is involved.*A 52-year-old woman showed you how to make sweet tea the ‘right way’ and you will never forget the story she told you about her last job as she was making it.*You are serving fries that look very similar to the ones at a place down the street, which happens to be from the KM’s brother’s second job.* You cried in front of Miguel Fernandez as you took a walk around the building.*You’re in Alaska, and you just counted 37 boxes of rice noodles.*You're in New York, and the owner shows up in a limo. (Zane Rules!)*You paid $10 to walk into a strip club, but sneaked out 15 minutes later when you saw one of the new hires working there.*You walked to the restaurant from your hotel every day, and never saw the sun.*You don’t care if housekeeping walks in when you’re naked, but if bugs you when they take the special glass you were using to mix drinks with.*You’ve been open for a week and there is still no liquor license in site.*You trained a 17-year-old host how to change a urinal cake after you just decorated a “scrubby caddy” with puffy paints and tied pretty ribbons on the handle of a toilet brush. (Not one of my finest moments, I tell ya.)Let’s keep this going. Lots of funny moments out there. -Andi
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  • arrive at the restaurant to see the Fryers in their shipping crates on the front patio, when you walk in the artifacts are up (WHAT?!), yet the only furniture in the whole restaurant is a table saw in the middle of the yet-to-be finished bar.
    ...OH, the dish machine is also still in it's box,but at least it's in a kitchen
    ...The biggest ice storm in 20 years hits, causing all of the neighboring stores to be super busy, this takes your managers out of the store during training. It also causes 4 trainers to arrive anywhere from 2-3 days late, one of them not getting luggage for another 2 days after this, your hotel to lose power as well as the restaurant. Oh, and your total staffing levels are 30, front and back. are at an international opening with their own warehousing needs, so you learn how to inventory a warehouse freezer AND drive a forklift.
    ...After 7 straight hours on fryside, you say to the fry cook, "Drop another mozz stick, I am going to the bathroom." You proceed to eat that mozz stick on the way to the bathroom belonging to the opposite sex because you know no one will look for you there and you might have 5 minutes of peace and quiet
  • *You couldn't turn tables on V.I.N., since HR decided it would be a great idea to have some 'live entertainment' from the local high school throughout the evening. "We're here early, since our daughter will be playing the flute in two hours." "Our neighbor is in the band. Can we just pay for an extra dessert as we stay to listen?" UGHGUHGUGHUHG!
    *You were dressed like a Big Bee, standing next to someone looking like an Apple, handing out Mozzarella sticks at the door during a 2-hour wait.
    *You've had a lunch that consisted of one of these combinations:
    3 spoonfuls of soup and two sips of a Diet Pepsi
    2 Redbulls and 3 pieces of fried shrimp
    1 chicken finger
    *You witness a new server, dressed in goggles, safety gloves, and a large apron, yell "CLEAR!" each time he pulls the lever on the lemon dicer. In the distance, a saavy new Broil trainer is trying not to smile.
  • - Your kitchen manager goes to the grocery store on opening day and is never heard from again.

    - You hold your opening day shift meeting on the back dock with every employee without unlocking the doors, and you left your keys in the office. Subsequently, you break a window to get into the restaurant.
  • -You have carried your walk-in and tables off the delivery trucks, still in piecemail boxes
  • Speaking of asphalt...Motorcycles, women's pumps, chair legs, and canopy tents make distinctive indentations in 'fresh' parking lots.
  • -You do a food show in a movie theatre, have no food, but a nacho looks really good in IMAX
    -You do a bar show in a 3 foot beer hat for emphasis since it is a dry county and you can't have any booze in the building until opening day
    -You have no Menus! Who needs Menus? The POS really tells you everything you need to know right....
    -You only have two managers and 7 cooks hired and training is tomorrow...but hey they all get out of training just in the nick of time....
    -You have opening day in a gravel parking lot because it is just too cold to put asphalt down yet
    -The smallwares order is in Pennsylvania but the opening is in Arizona....
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