Stop Disrespecting My Hometown With Your Bad "New York" Pizza!

So I apologize in advance if I come off as a little bitter in this post, but as a food lover and born & raised New Yorker living on the west coast it's a subject I do get a little bitter about. Namely, why do pizza places (and deli's) feel the need to whore my hometown out to sell their sub-par food?

Where I grew up, there was literally a dozen places within walking distance from my house where I could get a great slice of pizza or great deli sandwich. I moved out in 2003 and have since come to the realization that I have to settle for "relatively decent" at best, when it comes to that type of food.

It's a trade-off I'm willing to make, I live a block from the pacific ocean, there are as many great taco shops here as there were pizza joints there - not complaining about the fact that I can't get decent pizza, I have become resigned to my fate and I'm ok with it. That doesn't stop me from boarding airplanes with 4 calzones and 2 pastrami sandwiches in my carry on luggage when I fly back from NY, but that's besides the point.

What really ticks me off is the fact that in a 20 mile radius from where I live, there are a few dozen "New York Pizza" and "New York Deli" places - and they always seem to be the ones with the worst food! It's like they spent all the money on NY sports memorabilia and posters from "The Godfather" and forgot to get edible ingredients or competent employees.

Case in point - This new place opened up not far from me, place by the name of "Gandolfo's New York Deli" - I had a feeling I was going to be disappointed but I guess hope springs eternal so I gave it a shot. So I go in and there's a fake statue of liberty at the door, banners from the Mets, Yankees, Jets, Giants, Rangers, etc, pictures of the World Trade Center, the cast of "Goodfellas", all the cliche stuff you'd expect. The staff is all wearing Yankee caps, and all the sandwiches are named after New York landmarks (The 5th Avenue, The Brooklyn Bridge, etc).

So an overzealous gentleman in a Yankee cap comes over to me as I'm standing in line (Mind you I have my trusty Mets cap on, lol) and starts raving about all these great sandwiches, I'm gonna love this & that, yada yada yada. So I ask the guy if he was the owner, he said yes... I ask him if he was from NY, hoping to meet a fellow countryman & foodie... he suddenly stopped stopped being so loud & confident and quietly said no. So I asked if he had lived in NY... "no" - Have you visited NY - "no". What the ???? Why the NY title, hats, posters, banners, statues???? "Oh this is a franchise" - he told me... oh ok that makes some sense, so where in NY was the original? Get this....

Salt Lake City, Utah! What the f--k? A "New York Deli" started and headquartered in Salt Lake City Utah.. Nothing against Utah but you gotta be kidding me - not a location within 500 miles of New York. I turned and walked out before I could waste my money on a bad sandwich.

I mean really... I've never been to Texas, and I love BBQ, but I would never in a million years open a place named "Jay's Texas BBQ" with Dallas Cowboys posters and pictures of ranchers, I would be way too ashamed. And if I did, I would not be surprised or upset if a native Texan came in and hit me upside the head with a piece of brisket. He would have every right - I would be disrespecting his hometown and the food he knows and loves. So why is it that people have absolutely no shame in pimping my beloved hometown out for the sake of selling poor food, without having the slightest clue what they're doing? Ugh...

Sorry if my rant offended anyone, I love this site and I'm very happy to have found a community of fellow restaurant folk and food lovers - so I thought I'd share a food related frustration that's been knawing at my inner New Yorker for some time now. Thanks for listening.