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Comic Relief
I love to lighten the mood during stressful times...
Does anyone have some good industry related jokes?
Does anyone have some good industry related jokes?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by susan holaday on -
Okay Erin, you asked for it! I got this one recently and saved it for a moment like this-
A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, 'I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?'
The blonde said, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can look young and beautiful again.'
The milkman asked, 'Would you like it pasteurized?' The blonde said, 'No, just up to my tits. Ill just splash it on my face.'
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Permalink Reply by susan holaday on
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and another...
A man owned a small farm in Haddington.
The Haddington County Wage & Hours Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him £100 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £75 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of whisky every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer.
Well, you said you liked horrible jokes!
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Permalink Reply by susan holaday on
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Are you sure you want really bad ones?
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
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Permalink Reply by Keith Bernhardt on -
Susan,
Re: mcD's..Too funny..
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Permalink Reply by Judy "the foodie" Asman on -
That's a great question, Jeanine! I don't have anything to pull out of my pocket, unfortunately but will follow the thread.
Now would be a good time to be a lawyer, right? They get all of the bad jokes ...
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Permalink Reply by Jeannine on -
Someone just told this one in the office....
What has 8 teeth and 6 breasts?
Answer: The waitstaff at Wafflehouse :)
*not meant to offend*
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Permalink Reply by Howard Appell on -
The oldest joke: Customer: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The breast stroke!
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Permalink Reply by Keith Bernhardt on
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I was the son and grandson of lawyers (both deceased).
My dad had to interview witnesses one time and asked a lady for
occupation. He thought she said "none" as in no job. he proceeded
to tell her she needed to look nice for court.
When court came, the lady was in a habit. Her occupation was NUN, not none.
Dad got a good laugh over it as did everybody else !!
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Permalink Reply by Howard Appell on
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My wife asked me to throw out the garbage. I asked " Why should I throw it out, you cooked it"
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Permalink Reply by Howard Appell on
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A waiter delivers a bowl of soup to a customer with his thumb in the soup.
Customer: Why is your thumb in my soup?
Waiter. I have an infection and the doctor told me to keep it warm.
Customer: Why don't you stick it up your ___
Waiter: Oh, I do that in the kitchen..
Sorry.
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Permalink Reply by Jeannine on
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I wish there was a way to rate things on here... You'd deserve a gold star for that one :)
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Permalink Reply by Chris Reed on -
Not a traditional joke, but funny nonetheless...
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